Amy Winehouse

Wednesday, September 16, 2009

Amy Winehouse Claims She's Got a Bug up Her Ass

Amy Winehouse has stated that the courts have planted a bug up her ass, according to a lady who sat next to her on the New York Subway Friday.

"We were just sitting there on our way uptown when this lady with a strange hairdo and sort of wild look in her eyes told me she had a bug up her ass," Mrs Milo Waterhouse of Queens, told me.

"You see all kinds on the subway", she added, "but she was a hoot."

"Did you know who it was?"

"No. I still don't. There are so many here like that in New York. She got on right after I did and came and sat down real gingerly. Then she went into this longass story about a trial date she had coming up about her hitting someone and I'm thinking, 'I hope she doesn't hit me' so I just nodded my head like I always do, and gave her a kind smile.

"She then went on and on about the Police in Britain and DC with all these secret microphones really small but I refused when she told me to scream into her ass so it would cause the listener to go deaf."

"Why don't you just cut a big fart?', I asked and she said she tried but the bug kept her cheeks too far apart. I had to turn my head and laugh.

"Winehouse then reportedly wanted to show Waterhouse her ass to see if the FBI had planted "a bug up her wazzo!" because it had felt odd for days.

Then, according to Waterhouse, she claimed they might be related because of their last names, Winehouse and Waterhouse.

Mrs. Waterhouse said she told her they could be and tried to be nice.

"I couldn't help asking her about the fact that she might have been probed by aliens", laughed Waterhouse. "I'm an old fart, you know that?"

http://www.thespoof.com/news/spoof.cfm?headline=s4i59798

Tuesday, June 16, 2009

Amy Winehouse: The Worst Dressed Female Celebrity

Lakeside Shopping Centre, in Thurrock, Essex has conducted an interesting poll recently. In accordance to the poll, Amy Winehouse has been named the worst dressed female celebrity! The poll has also revealed that showing off a flabby midriff is considered the most shocking offence among six out of 10 Britons.

Amy Winehouse topped the worst dressed poll for her dishevelled 1950s style. Jodie Marsh and Peaches Geldof were in second and third places respectively. Shell–suits tucked into socks, G–strings showing, head–to–toe animal prints, muffin tops, black shoes with white socks and the mullet haircut are all on the list of what not to wear.
With his pseudo–Victorian garb, Russell Brand has been picked as the worst dressed male, followed closely by Michael Jackson
, Simon Cowell and Mickey Rourke. When it comes to crimes against fashion, we've all been guilty of the odd misdemeanour – but there's no excuse for sloppy dressing.The poll has also unearthed fashion skeletons of more than 1,000 Britons. Shell–suits emerged as the most disastrous item for men, while puffball skirts topped the poll of closet catastrophes for women, just ahead of shoulder pads.

http://living.oneindia.in/insync/2009/amy-winehouse-dressed-female-celebrity-120609.html

Wednesday, April 22, 2009

Amy Winehouse Burned

This chick loves the gross pics...

Photos have been circulating of Amy Winehouse sporting a very weird patch of pink skin on her leg. Sources have revealed that the patch is the result of a burn she received while cooking pasta. Check it out below. Amy reportedly spilled boiling water on her leg while making dinner for friends.

A source said: "Amy's burns looked so painful - she should really get them looked at. They were covered in sand."

A spokesman said: "She's not in a lot of pain, she's just letting it breathe."

Meanwhile, heroin addict Gilleen Morris is claiming she is pregnant with Amy's estranged husband's baby.

http://www.411mania.com/music/news/102578/%5BPHOTO%5D-Amy-Winehouse-Burned.htm

Tuesday, March 17, 2009

Amy Winehouse: Headed Back to the Caribbean

Amy Winehouse's legal problems may have her banned in the USA right now, so what's a gal to do?

Head for the Caribbean.

It was announced earlier today that Winehouse is going to headline the 18th Annual St. Lucia Jazz festival in May. She had to drop out of next month's Coachella music festival in the California desert because she's unable to obtain a work visa in time due to lingering assault charges she's facing in the U.K.

Sen. Allen Chastanet, St. Lucia's Minister of Tourism, tells me talks with Winehouse began during her recent two-month vacation on the small island nation.

"When she was in St. Lucia, it really was a positive influence on her," Chastanet tells me. "She had a really great time."

Winehouse will perform May 8 with KC and the Sunshine Band opening for her. About 6,000 people per night are expected to attend the festival, which runs from May 2 to 10. Others on the bill include Patti LaBelle, Chaka Khan, Chicago and Michael McDonald.

Winehouse will be put up at the new $100 million Tides Sugar Beach resort.

"She's welcome to stay as long as she wants to," Chastanet says. "We enjoy having her there. I wish we had recording facilities for her. I know she was trying very hard to record her album down there. That is something the government is working on down the road."

Chastanet insists he's confident Winehouse will honor her commitment. "What's very nice about the whole thing is we spoke to her and we spoke to her management and she really wants to do this to say thank-you to St. Lucia," he said. "I think this is something that she legitimately wants to do. So on that basis, I'm really not nervous."

We're rootin' for you, St. Lucia!

http://www.eonline.com/uberblog/marc_malkin/b104628_amy_winehouse_headed_back_caribbean.html

Tuesday, February 17, 2009

Amy Winehouse Released From Hospital

Amy Winehouse has reportedly been released from the hospital after collapsing in the Caribbean.

According to the Indo-Asian News Service, the troubled British singer was taken to a medical facility on the island of St. Lucia after suddenly falling ill.

A rep for Winehouse says she collapsed after running out of medication she had been using in her ongoing battle against drugs.

Winehouse has been enjoying some r&r at the resort since December, following numerous health problems throughout 2008, which included a stint in rehab and several prolonged stays in hospital.

http://radaronline.com/exclusives/2009/02/amy-winehouse-released-from-hospital.php

Monday, December 22, 2008

Amy Winehouse, Guns N' Roses, Jay-Z: The Biggest News Stories Of 2008

Amy Winehouse's ongoing personal problems and the much anticipated release of Guns N' Roses new album have both featured in Gigwise's 2008 news round up.

In what has been another dramatic year in music, our Biggest News Stories of 2008 countdown also includes Lil' Wayne's record breaking album sales in the US and Oasis guitarist Noel Gallagher's onstage attack in Canada.

CLICK HERE to see Gigwise's Biggest News Stories of 2008 now.

http://www.gigwise.com/news/48291/Amy-Winehouse-Guns-N-Roses-Jay-Z-The-Biggest-News-Stories-Of-2008

Thursday, December 4, 2008

Afternoon Fix: Amy Winehouse's Drug Use Is All Her Husband's Fault

• Amy Winehouse's husband, Blake Fielder-Civil, takes the blame for introducing the singer to heroin and crack, but says he's ready to divorce her in order to save her. Of course, not being one to seek out attention, he blabbed all this to the News of the World.

• We forgot to mention how terrifying Jamie Spears was in our post on Britney's MTV documercial.

• Just wanted to make sure everyone was aware that the Cruises and the Beckhams went on a carriage ride through Central Park together over the weekend.

• Here's Anderson Cooper without a shirt on. Michael Phelps is also there, but we've seen all that before.

• Whoa! Creepy disembodied Zac Efron face peeking at us.

• One risqué photograph of Miley Cyrus, and Annie Leibovitz will always be known as the "topless photographer." At least Annie let Tina Fey keep her clothes on.

http://www.eonline.com/uberblog/b71072_afternoon_fix_amy_winehouses_drug_use.html

Biography

Fresh from her triumphant performance at the Brits where she picked up the British Female Solo Artist award, Amy Winehouse has her much anticipated new single, ”Back To Black”, released on April 16th through Island Records. The single is the title track from Amy’s stunning album “Back To Black”, which this week re-gained the no. 1 slot, and looks set to go triple –platinum in a matter of weeks with sales fast approaching the 900,000 mark. Amy is currently in the middle of her sell-out UK tour which will be followed by her first ever US tour. The American dates kick off with a sold-out show at the Bowery Ballroom in New York City where Amy will also mark her US television debut with a performance on the David Letterman Show.

It’s been a fantastic few months for Amy since the release, at the end of October ’06, of her anthemic single “Rehab”. “Rehab” entered the chart at no. 7 and was followed by “Back To Black” which was released to universal acclaim and finished the year topping many end of year polls. A second single, “You Know I’m No Good”, featuring Ghostface Killah, was released in January and gave Amy her second big hit. Two Brit nominations, a South Bank Show award and an Elle Style award followed before Amy scooped the British Best Female last week at Earl’s Court. Amy’s live shows feature songs drawn from her platinum debut “Frank” and “Back To Black”. “Frank” established Amy as one of the most exciting and challenging artists in pop music, and “Back To Black” proves, beyond any reasonable or unreasonable doubt, what a truly remarkable talent she is. Winehouse’s song-writing and fearlessness as a lyric writer has been grafted onto some of the most astonishing material of her short career so far. “Back To Black” sees her teaming up once again with “Frank” producer Salaam Remi and, for the first time, with New Yorker Mark Ronson (Lily Allen, Robbie Williams and Christina Aguilera).

Two years ago, following the success of “Frank”, Amy began thinking about what she’d like to do with her second record. “Frank” was her grand and suitably blunt-speaking break-up record, and it won her a battalion of fans around the world, marking her out as one of the most distinct new voices in pop; confessional, elemental and with that rarest of combinations: humour and soul. “I didn’t want to play the jazz thing up too much again. I was bored of complicated chord structures and needed something more direct. I’d been listening to a lot of girl-groups from the fifties and sixties. I liked the simplicity of that stuff. It just gets to the point.” You can hear it on the subtley Supremes-referencing intro of “Back To Black”. But her reach stretches further. While the girl-groups of the sixties to which she had become enthralled contained their vocals, Amy can break loose with Aretha-style vocal stylings on “Just Friends” or by turning the whole idea of drying out into a gospel spiritual on the stunning opener “Rehab”. “Love is a Losing Game” is pure classic modern song-writing: brief, to the point and drenched in emotion. Other highlights include the Nas inspired “Me and Mr Jones”, the beautiful “Wake Up Alone”, “I’m No Good”, the personal epiphany that you can behave just as badly as all those guys that have messed you around and stamped all over you, and the bluesy smooch of the title track, “Back To Black”.